Waffling

This morning, I could not decide

Between French toast or pancakes

For breakfast.

Living on the Edge

My house seems to make people quite ill at ease,

Visitors, I'll admit, I have few.

It has a tenuous grip on the edge of a cliff,

But it has a fantastic view.

Absolute Nonsense

Squeegee

Gee whiz

Whiz bang

Pow,

Wow-wee

Zowie

Faster now...

Flim flam

Flambée

Bay Bridge

Okay

Amos

Seamus

Take a bow.

Canned ham

Hamburg

Big Bird

Black bird

Black dirt

Dirt poor

Poor Sam Mudd.

Mud flap

Flap jack

Jack Sprat

Pratfall

Fall guy

Stop quick

With a thud.

Unknown Beauty

She was filled to the tip top
With delicate things,
Like dandelion blossoms
And butterfly wings.
But she never knew love,
Just the withering sting
Of rejection...

Her beauty not easily seen.

A Random Little Thought About an Idle Brain

She kept her brain inside a jar
Tucked safely away on a high shelf
In the study, to be used only when needed.
Which, for her, was not often.
And so there it sat, just gathering dust,
Not thinking about anything at all.

My Thursday

I was deep inside a Thursday
When I heard the color blue
It filled my eyes with deafening whispers
Of a lonely, mournful hue

I don't know when or where it came from
Don't know how it came to be
Before I knew just what was going on
The waves washed over me

And I was swimming in a chorus
Of a thousand fallen tears
I caught the scent of baleful drumming
Winding rhythm through my ears

It was a symphony of sadness
Suffocating was the song
A taste of melancholy madness
And in a moment it was gone

Staring at the Sun

They sat on the grass, all bald heads and bare feet
And flowing white robes, as others poked fun.
They turned their eyes skyward in practiced performance,
They turned their eyes skyward and stared at the sun.
No one knows why they did it, they sat there in silence,
Unsettling scene in a picturesque park.
Tears flowed down their cheeks as they stared at the fire,
Unblinking until they saw nothing but dark.

The Last Man in the World

He walks through a desolate wasteland alone,
A fistful of daisies in hand.
He's not sure where he's going, forgot where he's been
He just aimlessly wanders the sand.
He belongs to no country, religion or creed
Adrift, the last man in the world.
And although it seems crazy, he clutches those daisies,
Just hoping to find the last girl.

Poor Richard

My name is Richard,
They call me Rich,

If I'm being Frank with you, though...

I have not a single Penny.

Could you buy me a cup of Joe?

Remembering Dear Reuben

My best friend was a sandwich named Reuben.

My constant companion was he.

We spent long summer days playing outdoor games

And swinging from a tree.

But sadly our friendship ended

One day as lunchtime neared.

My hunger got the best of me

And dear Reuben disappeared.

The Purple Speckled Egg

It was a gift from Uncle Gus, brought back from some strange land.

A lovely purple speckled egg placed in my eager hand.

In all his travels he'd found no other

I ran and showed it to my mother

Who said she'd never seen another

Purple speckled egg.

What kind of egg is it you ask? Well, that's still undecided.

I've researched oviparity but found no other like it.

Whatever it is that grows in there

Seems wholly content and unaware

As hour by hour I sit and stare

At my purple speckled egg.

Was it laid by something wriggly? Was it laid by something that flew?

Or produced perhaps by some strange beast that taxonomy never knew?

So fascinating, this fragile prize

That incubates a living surprise

A mystery larger than its size

My purple speckled egg.

Lateral Thinking

There are stairs that go up

And stairs that go down
But though I have looked

I've never found
Stairs that go sideways

And for that matter
I've never seen

A sideways ladder.
I plan to invent both

Sooner or later
And also a sideways

Elevator.

The Fourth Little Pig

The fourth little pig made his home on a yacht
That was moored at the end of a long, wooden dock.
The wolf huffed and he puffed, but to his dismay
The pig hoisted the sails for a clean getaway.

The Upside-Down Tree

I planted an upside-down acorn.
It sprouted an upside-down tree.
In its roots, the birds nest
In its branches, worms rest
And it's all quite confounding to me.

Squandered Star

Last week I plucked a star right from the sky.
They didn't seem to be in short supply.
I just dropped it in my pocket
Where I promptly then forgot it
And on laundry day it got a wash and dry.

The Extraordinary Disappearance of a Good Hat

By some quirk of nature,
By some twist of fate,
A hole opened up in time and in space
And before I could grab it
My hat blew right through it
And vanished without a trace.

Did it jump to the future
Or back to the past?
I have no way of knowing just when it is at
So I'm standing here, waiting
Confused and debating
If I should go buy a new hat.

The Scare, The Fright and The Fear

I warn you dear children, please beware
Of the terrible creature they call The Scare.
It has sharp, pointy teeth
And claws that can scrape,
And if ever it gets you
You will not escape.

And if you venture out into the night
Watch out for the one they call The Fright.
It has scaly, black skin
And red eyes that glow,
If it grabs you, dear children,
It won't let you go.

And I beg of you, children, please steer clear
Of the horrible monster they call The Fear.
It gobbles up anyone
Who gets too near,
And if it takes hold
You may well disappear.

The Figment

It was but a figment,
Born in a instant,
Conjured from wishes and dreams.
A tangible thought
Unexpectedly wrought,
Pulled out of thin air, it seems.

It opened its eyes,
Confused and surprised,
Unsure if it even belonged.
But it was not to last,
For the thought quickly passed
And that poor little figment was gone.

Revolution

How it happened was a mystery
That would change the course of history.
Somehow the spark of life took hold
In an ancient primordial sea.

Behold, a blob of divine potential,
Unequipped to imagine its own eventual
Importance. For it was destined to be
Quite significant and influential.

And as eons passed it formed a brain.
It grew eyes and a tail and rearranged
Its pieces and parts, to find the ideal,
It ever so slowly changed.

It was still just a blob, basically,
But it learned to use its agility
To wiggle and squirm and carve out a life
To the best of its ability.

With the passing of time it learned to do more.
It grew fins and scales and began to explore
The whole of the oceans, and when it was through
Fixed its sights upon the shore.

It grew legs and skin and working lungs
And hauled itself into the light of the sun
And it breathed the air, and it walked the earth
And yet still it was not done.

And the blob diverged into various forms,
Some rather plain, some out of the norm.
And it conquered the land, the water, the skies,
And the planet was transformed.

It coupled and grew into families,
Developed culture and complex societies.
It built villages, towns and organized nations
All part of its lasting legacy.

Its knowledge grew at a furious pace.
It unlocked the mysteries of time and of space.
It mastered its world and all it contained
And undoubtedly won life's race.

Finally, with no problems left to solve,
And confident that it had fully evolved,
It sunk deep into a comfy chair
And turned right back into a blob.

Big Bob's Early Exit

They said it was escape-proof
A fishbowl filled with tears
Stocked with hardened criminals
Who were locked away for years.
The goldfish markin' time inside
Had rap sheets nine miles long.
They swam in endless circles
Wonderin' what the heck went wrong.
The oldest inmate was a con
Who went by the name Big Bob.
He was netted seven years ago
For pullin' a riverbank job.
Yes, seven years of hard time,
Sunk in that cold, glass clink.
And that's seven years of nothin' to do
But scheme and plan and think.
He'd scrutinized the security,
And he thought he'd found a way
To slip right out of that goldfish bowl
And see the light of day.
The other inmates laughed at Bob
Not one of them believed him.
They had long since given up the dream
Of ever nibblin' freedom.
But Big Bob was optimistic.
Big Bob was undeterred.
Big Bob said he was leaving,
And Big Bob kept his word.
And one mornin' at the roll call,
The guards found somethin' weird:
Big Bob had vanished in the night,
Big Bob had disappeared.
No one knew how he did it.
They never found his route.
But the rumor swirlin' 'round the yard
Was that Big Bob tunneled out.